I was thinking about Death then it struck me. The harsh reality of death is simple, you won't be exist to do the things you do when you're alive. I was in the train this afternoon when suddenly the though of me dying struck me like lightning. I was really really scared. I couldn't accept it. I felt like I did not do enough on this earth if I were to die tomorrow. Definitely, a sense of guilt I have and yoda I learned from you. I was thinking of all the things I couldn't do like for example, being alive and kicking, experience life and lastly if I could recalled, the ability to walk talk and all-the-things-we-do-when-we-are-alive. I know death is not in our hands but it belongs to God's but I hope I'm not going to be criticised for writing this. It was like I took a bungee jump and my heart was literally numb for a moment, and all I could think of doing next was to cry. Death hit you like a boxer's punch but then I thought to myself, what happen after we die. Will I be still be able to assess to my Instagram account and my email? I guess not because I know heaven is not that kind of place but who knows maybe heaven is a place like earth. No one knows how heaven is. Then I thought to myself, if I remove all context of religion, after death, we are nothing. There's no place we go other than disappearance into thin air. I am blank, you are blank, all death will be blank, like complete darkness and a sound of silence. Then I tried to make myself feel better by not thinking about dying but instead, I tried hard to felt again that loss of life a few moments ago where I did but I could not. It's simple, remove all thoughts of dying and you will enjoy life but if you keep a small thought of dying, then maybe you will enjoy life in a meaningful way. Peter Tosh put it perfectly when he said 'everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die'.
Heaven is a place on earth with you.
National Archives Of Kamarul