Let me start by saying ummmm, ummmm. Let me start by saying that ummm, humanity is about the state of being human and to be human, we need to live with certain characteristics and compassion. Being human is a privilege and being a criminal is a choice. Being human is a chance, to make it right on Earth so as to live forever in the after life. But honestly speaking, there's just too much right and wrong. We may agree on certain things but we may not see eye to eye on another thing. Well, well, well, how I wish I can take water from a well. Veil, veil, veil, we are all living under a veil. An invisible veil that we put on when we go to work, when we go to school or when we serve our country. A veil so strong that it could even possess you and make you do things that you are not suppose to or against you. As much as I assure myself that I am not wearing one, I still thing that I am wearing a veil. But that doesn't mean that I'm evil or having a hidden agenda, it just makes me to be a better man by controlling the words I say and the actions I do. It's hard honestly to hold back certain actions or words but that's just how life is, compromising good and evil in our everyday life to strike a balance of being true to yourself and being fake. I don't even know why am I writing this down, maybe it's my hobby to write or maybe I got certain things to let off from my non hairy chest. Maybe this post is targeted to a certain group of individuals or maybe a group of hooligans, and by the way, I am a hooligans, a yahooligans. Google is my best friend and ns.sg is my baby. I'm not a father but I fathered alot of works that I am proud of and some which I don't, does that make me a bad father, I don't think so. We all have our favourite children right. No, I'm not suppose to say that but I did because we all have favoritism and I express the shit that I don't like. I'm sorry that I could even fathered in the first place. Read between the lines is the most bullshit phrase I ever heard. As an Idealist, I always picture things to be at their utmost positive. Same goes to my vision of life. There will always be something right for you. Maybe not at this moment, but one day it will come. I appreciate words and I abhor profanity. I don't use it as much as I like to because let's face it, I don't have to use it in my everyday context, and if possible, I don't ever want to use it. I think using words with a stronger meanings is much more powerful than a single-profanity-word. Sarcasm is a bliss and blissfully, I am hoping that my love for reading and writings words grows with me. As we are on the topic of Humanity, give and take is also a bliss. Compromise is hard to do but it is the right thing to do at most situation.
As much as I want to be poor, I just can't. I couldn't afford to have 0 dollars in my bank which I used to before. I just can't part away with my money because as I grow older, I've grown wiser that money is powerful. It could break relationships, it could make relationships and it could even kill a person. Indeed money is the root of evil but not all evil. If taken care carefully and spent wisely, money could do good than bad. There's so much for me to think about when it comes to money. I have to accept the reality that after September, I will have no more allowance from ah gong and this means that I can't spend on luxury items and I need as much money as I can. I think no one can feel how I feel even if I try to express how I feel on my blog post in words, sometimes, you are just not me and you don't know what it feels like to be me. Living with all these pressure and boulders on my shoulder, maybe I'm just in the wrong country and my country and family expectation is too much for me. But guess what, my expectation of me is much higher and I aim to be high without smoking weed. Sure expectations can be good but it's harder to balance time to spend on my life, art, country, family and my love. It's just too hard to balance and there are no right or wrong just that I'm just expressing, as in just telling you my issue, that finding time for all that needs clever planning and sometimes, improvisation. It's not that I don't know how to juggle all that, actually, i'm a good juggle of my time, just that they don't know how to juggle me, it's not me, it's them. I am not pointing my fingers to the SAF don't worry. I'm just pointing my time at the clock and calendar because these 2 are always moving too fast that sometimes, I forgot that I am growing up and I don't need to go on a holiday just because I need a bloody holiday. Spending money feels good but having more money is even better. Then you would come at me and tell me that why have all that money but you can't find happiness. See, that's my whole point of this post, there are no right or wrong, it's all subjective and some people can't accept subjective because their whole life have been an objective to live by orders and not have their own way of thinking. My name is Kamarulzaman, I am a Singaporean, an idealist and all I want is to live the life I want to and have my strawberry studel now.
National Archives Of Kamarul